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If you're ever in a pub surrounded by old farts, you might be asked - "what's the best way to 'old 'em?". Now, some people believe this question is to do with the best route to take to get to Oldham. However, as a quick-quitted knave, you'll know this question is to do with the most appropriate way to hold the luscious breasts of a young maiden. Thus, the correct answer should be "with both hands". Truth be told though, it is a trick question, as sometimes you don't need two hands to hold the breasts of Oldham escorts. While some escorts from Oldham obviously have large norks, others have smaller boobies, so just one hand will do (maybe a mouth even).


Anyway, lets have a look at Oldham shall we? If you didn't know, it is a borough on the eastern part of the Greater Manchester metropolitan region. It nestles firmly alongside the Pennines, which is akin to the Mancunian version of the Himalayas. If you're writing a letter to someone from there, the postcode starts with OL; while if you're going to visit it, you can travel by car, Metrolink, train or barge (as it is on the Ashton Canal).


As a former mill town, it's heyday was during the Industrial Revolution, producing textiles for the world. Since then, things have been generally downhill, with little to cheer one up economically. The only memorable point was probably producing Lancasters for the RAF to bomb the shit out of the Germans. Other than that, Oldham isn't known for much else, apart from having the first genuine fish and chips restaurant in the UK (it even has a blue plaque which says so).


Demographically, Oldham is big, with a population of over 250,000 souls, of whom a substantial percentage are of Pakistani descent. What that means to you is that if you do meet an Oldham escort, she may just be of Pakistani origin! To us, this is a damn fine thing, as Pakistani escorts are rare as hell in the UK, despite their popularity with our visitors. Regardless of ethnicity, while Oldham is cold due to the aforementioned Pennines, the people themselves are warm and welcoming. You could say that it is due to having a traditional Lancashire friendliness, although we think adversity does also bring out the best in people too.


Funwise, Oldham is amiable, with a hefty selection of town centre clubs and pubs attracting young people throughout the week. If drunk millenials are your thing, then fill you boots - otherwise don't bother. In terms of adult erotic entertainment, Oldham is merely decent in our opinion. It isn't popular with doggers, it isn't popular with swingers, there are no stripclubs, and it sure as hell isn't an escorting oasis.


A quick glance at Adultwork shows there are few quality independent escorts in Oldham, and in terms of massage parlours, it is rather dull too. There is only one place which stands out here, which lays claim to not only being the oldest massage parlour in Oldham, but also the oldest massage parlour in all Manchester. It may not be as old as ancient Greece, but it would definitely make the Georgians feel at home, with its most noticeable attributes being its wide selection of ladies and sprawling facilities. To summarise then, we reckon an outcall appointment is the choice of champions.


Should you desire meeting an outcall escort in Oldham, then you'll need to satisfy yourself with the offerings of the chain hotels. However, if you think Travelodge, Best Western and Premier Inn are just OK, then the Penthouse apartments are likely to be a step up in quality. Overall, these venues may be 3 stars at most, but with a visit from an Indigo Nile escort, we can guarantee you a 5 star experience. Depending on the time of day, we can have a lady visiting you in under half an hour, given how close it is to our HQ. Alternatively, you can make your way to our incall place, as we're just 15 minutes away by taxi if you require a door-to-door service. Either way, just give us a call and we'll be there for you!

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