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Reopening update …

On 20 March 2020, the government shut down the country by preventing a number of venues in the UK from operating, from pubs and clubs to the majority of the adult entertainment business. Sixteen weeks later, it appears we finally have the all-clear from government to operate as a venue in a legitimate fashion. This means we now have some good news for you, along with updates on changes which are to be implemented following reopening.

First off, news regarding the ladies. You'll be happy to know that all but one of our ladies are well and remain with us. The only exception is Jade, who is off for an indeterminate period of time due to being an exceptionally qualified key worker in the real world. She may return at some time in future if we are lucky, so keep your eyes peeled.

Second, as a quick glance at the schedule shows, we will open from Monday the 13th. Having taken time to read the revised guidance which applies to gyms and hairdressers, arguably our closest analogues, there are some updates in procedures which we would like to make you aware of, as they are essential to operating in a way which is as clean and safe as possible. In some ways, these are not as harsh as we originally anticipated, for as some gentlemen who have previously visited us will find, we have always worked in a way which would make us naturally amenable to the social distancing mantra of 2020.

Consequently, there are NO changes with the following policies:

  • as we only operate an appointment system, and have always shunned walk-ins, there is no prospect of you being led into a reception packed with other visitors. Not only does this enhance personal privacy, it means you're not going to be in an enclosed space waiting to catch something from someone in direct contact with you;
  • we continue not to offer parties, where you'd come into contact with more people than you sensibly should;
  • while cash payments remain welcome, you'll still be able to pay for your appointments using the usual electronic means offered by the ladies;
  • unlike pubs and hotels, which appear to be requesting personal details for track-and-trace purposes, we have no need to ask for such info. Your current method of contacting us will suffice under current guidance - if anything, a punting phone number is far more acceptable than the made up names and numbers clients are likely to provide at the local Spoons.

There are, however, a number of adjustments which we feel that we need to implement, since failing to do so and carrying on as before would be irresponsible. The most notable changes are as follows:

  • for the next few weeks, only two ladies will be in daily. The purpose is to allow us to have more time to clean and prepare the rooms, as well as to further minimise the prospect of passing others when arriving and leaving our venue. Obviously, this means you may not end up in a particular room which you are accustomed to, but we're sure our ladies will make up for this;
  • upon arrival and departure, we continue to encourage you to sanitise your hands - for this purpose, the sanitiser in the main passage has been replaced by a dedicated dispenser installed by the front door. Should you really be worried, you're also welcome to avail yourself of a complementary face mask (not the FFP3 masks which we were offering in March though);
  • the rooms will be a bit noisier and fragrant than before. Not only have the extractor fans been updated during lockdown, but we'll be using more essential oils to offset the smell of the cleaning chemicals in use;
  • we will be unable to offer warm drinks to our visitors, so that means no tea or Nespresso! On the other hand, you're still more than welcome to have a canned drink or bottle of water;
  • some services which were available from the ladies may be temporarily limited in availability. As these are discretionary offerings, we'd ask you, as always, to consult with them directly.

In the end, it all comes down to personal preference and personal responsibility, so we would advise all of our clients to use their common sense when visiting. Do that, and we'll all get through this.

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